Something to Tell You
by sauscony
Summary: B/S - In response to a challenge of [SpikesSalvation] on Yahoo! Groups. Get Buffy to say "I love you" to Spike.


SOMETHING TO TELL YOU  
By Sauscony 

E-mail: sauscony@forty-two.co.nz  
Rating: G  
Spoilers: After _Wrecked_.  
Summary: B/S - In response to a challenge of [SpikesSalvation] on Yahoo! Groups. Get Buffy to say "I love you" to Spike.   
Disclaimer: _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_ and _Angel_ characters are copyrighted ©20th Century Fox, Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, UPN and the WB, and are used without permission. No copyright infringment is intended. 

Buffy drowsed, safe in her lover's strong, caring embrace. With his arms around her, the aches and pains seemed further away, more a distant memory than a present reality. 

It still amazed her, the way he was always there for her, no matter what she did, no matter what she said, no matter what crap she dealt out to him. He'd fight her back it that was what she wanted, walk away and ignore her if she needed the space, hit her, insult her, love her with his body and his heart and the soul he didn't have. 

And always, the end was the same. After each fight, each time they made love – slow and gentle, hard and furious, and all the combinations in between – he'd look at her with those piercing, loving blue eyes, and say exactly the same thing. 

"I love you, Buffy." 

Why was it so hard to say the same thing back? 

And why had she waited so long to make the effort? So long that it was almost too late. 

Buffy stirred, and Spike's arms loosened immediately. "Awake, pet?" he asked softly. 

"Mmm," Buffy agreed, but she wasn't really. She hadn't been for weeks and they both knew it. 

That place inside her, the one that sent the prophecy dreams, the Slayer's knowledge, was telling her something else now. She recognised its truth and no longer had the energy or the desire to deny it. 

She rolled over onto her back, moving carefully so that it hurt less, and looked up into Spike's watchful eyes. 

"Spike, it's time for me to go." 

He shook his head, denying the words, the meaning behind them. "No. Stay with me, Slayer." He knew he was begging, and he didn't care. "Please." 

"I can't," she said softly. "You know I can't." 

"You can," he insisted, unaware of the tears and his cheeks and trying to pretend he couldn't hear the lies in his own words. "You can do anything. Stay with me." 

Buffy shook her head. "Look at me, Spike. Really look. See what I am, not what you remember." She raised a hand and cupped his cheek in her palm. "Shaking hands, wrinkled skin, white hair. Old lady. I'm old, Spike. And it's time for me to go." 

He pulled her closer, feeling the truth of it in the body he held in his arms. She'd always been small; now she was frail. He might still be the apparently young man who had tried to kill her so very long ago, but Buffy, for all the power and strength being the Slayer gave her, was still human. She had grown old, as humans do, and now she was leaving him and he didn't know if he was strong enough to bear it." 

Buffy smiled, comfortable in the familiar strength of his arms. "It's time," she repeated softly. She traced the line of his face; high forehead, aquiline nose, lips that had kissed her and argued with her, loved her and laughed at her. 

"There's something I need to tell you," she whispered. 

"What is it, luv?" 

"I…" Buffy grimaced, unable to believe that even now, she couldn't say the words. "I…" 

Spike saw it in her eyes and shook his head. "I know. You don't have to say it." 

"Yes, I do," she insisted fiercely. "I am not going to die without telling you how much I love you." 

A part of him was soaring, flying through rainbows, but all he did was laugh softly, a crooked smile on his face. "See, that wasn't so hard, was it?" 

If she'd been younger, had more strength, Buffy would of socked him one. Instead, all she could do was chuckled. "I guess not," she admitted. "But I wasn't ready before." 

"That's my Slayer," Spike agreed ironically. "Wants to make it dramatic, so she picks a deathbed confession." A moment later he was serious again. "I knew, luv," he assured her gently. "It didn't matter if it was too hard for you to say. I knew." 

Buffy felt like crying and laughing, both at the same time and the feeling was overwhelming, too much to deal with now. "I love you," she said simply. 

Spike leaned over and kissed her gently on the lips. "Buffy, I love you." 

"I know," she whispered, and smiled. 

With that smile still on her face, Buffy, the Vampire Slayer who had beaten the odds and lived, died. 

Spike sat on the bed, holding her still form, for a long time, simply watching her face. It looked young again, worry and pain smoothed away by death. Finally, he laid her down, stood and left the room. He walked slowly down the stairs and across the hall to the front door, ignoring the looks the others gave him. 

They would look after her know, he knew. And this time, they would have the sense to let her rest as she deserved. 

Spike didn't know what hope there was for him, a vampire. He wasn't likely to join her, but he was going to follow her. He'd decided that a long time ago. 

He opened the door, and as Spike walked out into the sunlight, the last thing he heard were those words he's believed she would never say. 

"I love you, Spike." 


End file.
